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Friday, Aug. 25th, 2006 | 03:52 pm

i'm in the middle of nowhere. aka alfred, ny.
there is one traffic light in this entire town.
it's really small but cute.
i like it here so far.
all the upperclassmen move in tmrw.

i need some buddha.

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count down mothafuckas

Monday, Aug. 21st, 2006 | 09:08 am


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(no subject)

Friday, Aug. 18th, 2006 | 11:21 am

i got new glasses yesterday. go to my facebook or myspace to see a pic. let me know if you like them! i can't totally decide. i aslo have new wire ones that look very similar to the old ones from last year.

yesterday i found out which dorm i'm living in at alfred. i'll be living in kruson, which is an upperclassman dorm, which I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT. i was worried i'd be in the freshmen dorms because i am a freshman in the art dept but thank goodness they evaluated me on my academic standing. i'm in with a second semester freshman transfer, she's two years older than me though so i think it will be cool. she seems pretty nice. her name is carol. i've never met anyone named carol before, lol. she seems pretty cool, we like A LOT of the same music and she likes the green, so i think we'll get along pretty well.

i find it so interesting how different news sources present stories to us. yesterday a federal judge ordered an immediate halt to unlawful surveillence of americans saying that what the president doing is unconstitutional.

first i read it on aol news, and i thought that the way they presented the story was like of... i don't know, a little too liberal BUT ALSO A LITTLE TOO SIMPLE (or dumb i dunno) to be real so i searched it and found the story on cnn, who also presented it kind of weird but i think a little from the conservative side.

btw, i realize every time i read "the war on terror" or "protect against terrorism" i roll my eyes. those words mean nothing to me anymore. nooooothing.

count down: 4 days until i leave florida forever. :D

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whats on my mind

Friday, Jul. 28th, 2006 | 09:31 pm

i can't believe how depressed i am. i really just want summer to be over and for the 22nd of august to come and quickly go so it will be august 23rd and i can start orientation at alfred. i hate it here, my relationship with my mom is very stressed. i'm going to have to go for surgery sometime soon, will find out details on wednesday. i have no friends here, no matter how fucking hard i try to be social and reach out to people, no one is in the least bit reciprocal. even though i tell myself i'm over that boy, my mood is easily swayed by any contact with him. his new vacation makes me suspicious of someone else who may have entered his life in the recent past. even if thats true, it shouldnt affect me. but it does, because i miss him. i miss my friends. this week at least when my mom is out of town one of them will come stay with me one or two nights, she will keep me from total hopelessness. i wish i hadn't opened myself to that boy because now all i want is to show and receive affection. i kept myself from caring about anyone for so long and now all i want is to care. all i can do now is endure these next three weeks and hope that i can get through it with the tiniest piece of self respect. i wish that those who have been in my life for the last seven years, even one or two people, cared enough about me in that time to try to contact me and see me before i leave the state. the way my relationship is now with my mom, it's possible i won't be coming back very often. and you know, good riddance. none of you fuckers seem to care at all.

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there is always something wrong with me

Wednesday, Jul. 26th, 2006 | 11:10 pm
feeling kind of like: discontentdiscontent

oct-nov 2002 - very bad case of mono, didn't fully recover for almost two years
throughout 2003 - severe migraine syndrome, minor epilepsy
jan 2005 - passed 12 kidney stones over the course of a month and a half
nov 2005 - viral meningitis
july 2006 - pelvic (not ovarian) cysts

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